Beauty Contest
by Hystericaled
Summary: The jeering and mocking young Anko received from other kids goes overboard. Uncreative and boring as their chants of 'Tomboy' are, there was only so much name-calling a girl can handle. To prove them wrong, Anko wants to enter a contest. But to do that, she will need her sensei's help. LONG HIATUS.
1. Chapter 1

This fic is to thank those who have been constantly following, supporting, and of course, reviewing my other fics, especially the current on-going one, _'In the language of flowers'_. I really appreciate the support, every review really makes my day. :D

So, this fic is dedicated to AvaleeDarling, Gerkyhen, NinjaSheik, Ryunn Kazan, thegriffin88, Trissacar and all the others who have taken the time to review/read any of my fics (including this) ! ^^

So, this idea have been with me for a long time and I didn't feel the need to write it out. But after thinking, I feel that I really owe you guys something. Hence, this fic is born. ~.~

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto and any of its characters.**

**~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X**

"No."

"Yes!"

"No. I mean it Anko."

"But you promised!" Anko sniffed. "I won't ask for anything else, so please help me join this contest!"

Orochimaru frowned. Perhaps it was a mistake to promise her that he'd do her a favor as a birthday present. At that time, he didn't think too much about it. He just wanted to get her a suitable birthday present. So the best and most practical idea at that time is or her to choose one herself. But she has not told him what she wanted. Until now, that is. But how was he to know that later on, his 'practical' idea would turn out to be a practical disaster?

"I don't understand why you have to take those comments of your classmates to heart. They are just joking you know." Orochimaru sighed, rubbing his forehead. She may be his only student, but she was a handful enough. And people ask why he didn't want to get more students to train.

"They keep making fun of me! So I want to win this contest to show them that I am not a 'Tomboy'!" Anko insisted, her eyes shining with determination.

Orochimaru shook his head. If only she showed such enthusiasm for training without his prompting. "Does that really matter? Them saying that you are one doesn't make you one does it? All you have to do is ignore them. We know the truth. That is enough."

"But I don't like how they always jeer at me!" Anko wailed.

"I'll have a word with their instructor, how about it?"

"Sensei, it will just make it worse. Then they start calling me a 'tattle-tale tomboy'." Anko resisted the urge to roll her eyes.

Seeing that she wasn't willing to back down, and the fact that what he was going to do is her birthday present somewhat, Orochimaru relented. "Fine, fine. All I need to do is to find a lady to accompany you for the 'Mother-daughter beauty contest' right?"

Anko nodded happily. "Yup! And when I win it, I'm going to rub it in their face! Hah, that will teach them to laugh at me!"

While he felt that Anko would not stand much of a chance at winning, Orochimaru refrained from saying so. Such contests are based on looks, which is true to a certain extent. While it'd be hard to say whether Anko have an advantage in terms of the beauty department, there is also the part where the mother and daughter have to show the strong bond that they share with each other. That would be the part where she'd lose most points at, seeing that anyone he found to accompany her would not be able to say much except for "Anko loves dango."

On a more positive note, since Anko is an orphan, any single lady would be able to enter the contest with her. This means that he could help her find one that would look a lot better than the average woman, to help her score more points.

"I'll see what I can do then." Orochimaru said, as he ruffled Anko's hair.

"Yay! This is the best birthday present ever!" Anko squealed, as she hugged him around his knees.

Orochimaru gave a small chuckle. "Don't you say that to me every year?"

"Well, presents from Orochimaru-sensei are always the best!" Anko said, after thinking for a while.

"Is it really…" Orochimaru murmured, feeling a sense of comfortable warmth spreading within him upon hearing that sentence. "So, you will meet this lady two days from now outside the tea shop at 2pm, okay?"

"Yes!" Anko said as she nodded enthusiastically.

"Alright then, it's getting late. I'll find my friend and tell her of the favor while you'll head back, is that clear?"

"Aww, why can't I go with you? I want to see her now!" Anko grumbled.

It never cease to amaze Orochimaru how fast her moods can change. "It's a surprise." He said, as he gently pushed her to the direction of her way back to her apartment. After bidding him a grumpy 'goodbye', Anko dragged her feet back to her place.

Running his fingers through his hair, Orochimaru sighed. Now, he will have to find Tsunade it seems.

~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X

"What do you mean Tsunade is on a mission?" Orochimaru asked Jiraya, his voice strangely hoarse.

"Well, it was very sudden. The squad assigned to patrol the borders met with a few unfortunate ambush. Their injuries are quite severe, and since Tsu is the best and available medic, she was sent there." Jiraiya finished.

Then his eyes lit up. "Why are you searching for her?"

"It's just that-"

"What? You're asking her out on a date aren't you?" Jiraiya exclaimed, his eyes wide as saucers.

"Stop jumping to conclusions. I just need her help for something." Orochimaru replied irritably.

"Help for something? For what? …oohhh! I see." The toad sannin nodded, as if he understood something. "THAT kind of help huh. Don't worry I know a few good places where you can have a great time, if you know what I mean." Jiraiya wriggled his eyebrows suggestively, as he elbowed his pale teammate a little.

Orochimaru frowned as he slapped aside Jiraiya's offending elbow. "It's not what you think."

"That's what everybody says." Jiraiya snorted. "You don't have to be shy you know. Every man has his needs afterall."

"That is not the case," Orochimaru replied, trying his best to maintain a reign on his escalating temper. "Do you have any other female acquaintance that have not yet marry? As long as she is still single and not married, I do not mind. There is something I'll need to request her help with. "

".GOD." Jiraiya gasped. "I didn't think this day would every come!" Jiraiya eyes started to tear a little. "You want to get married don't you? Of the three of us, for you to be the first one to do so, I am really shocked. But don't worry, you got my full approval to-"

Before Jiraiya could say anything more, Orochimaru pushed his face into a nearby wall. Hard.

Ignoring the profanities directed towards him from his teammate, Orochimaru made his way back to his apartment. A lot of thoughts ran through his head. He really considered telling Anko that he was unable to help her, seeing as the only one he was going to approach would not be back from her mission in a week. The contest was to take place in three days time. And anyone else that he wants to ask is already attending the contest with another child.

He'd hate to do it, but it seems that he have no choice except to break the news to her the next day.

~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X

"Anko, I have got some bad news."

Anko face fell a little, but she still waited for him to continue.

"I wanted to ask Tsunade to accompany you, but it seems that she is out on a mission and would not be back in time." Orochimaru said softly.

Anko smiled. "It's alright, I don't really mind. It isn't that important to me after all."

That's right. That is how things are going to turn out. Orochimaru have it all planned. It will all pass smoothly; she will be the understanding girl that she is and just forget about the contest. Then they will continue training.

As always, everything will go as he planned.

Sitting under the shade of a tree, he waited for Anko to report to their usual meeting place.

"Orochimaru-sensei~!" The cheerful cry brought him out of his thoughts. As he sat up, Anko tackled him back down.

"So? Can I meet the lady today? Please please please! I'll behave! I won't ask for five plates of dango anymore. Please?" Anko pleaded.

Orochimaru sighed. He ran his fingers through his hair as he tried to remember what he was supposed to say. "Yeah, about that…Anko, I have got some bad news."

Anko's face fell. She waited for him to continue, but her disappointment was obvious. She wasn't disappointed in him, but somehow, Orochimaru felt a little guilty.

"I wanted to ask Tsunade to accompany you, but it seems that she is out on a mission and would not be back in time." Orochimaru said softly.

Anko smiled sadly. "It's alright, I don't really mind. It isn't that important to me after-"

"However, I believe that there is someone else I can call upon, so you don't have to worry."

Anko looked as if she could die happy right then. Orochimaru looked as if he had swallowed poison.

"REALLY! Thanks so much, Orochimaru-sensei!"

"I..it's alright." Orochimaru managed to force out amid his internal cursing of himself. "Why don't you take a day off for today? I'll let you rest for the day while you prepare to meet her tomorrow, how about that?"

Anko was so happy, that if Orochimaru requested that she throw herself off a waterfall, she would also agree to it.

As he watched her retreating back, he contemplated on calling her back and just telling her that there is nothing he could do to help her. But when he saw how upset she was even at the hint of the fact that she might not be able to participate in the contest, he couldn't help but just blurt out something that would bring the smile back. And now he landed himself into this pool of trouble.

But he is a smart person, one who is considered a genius. He instantly thought up of everybody he knew, and just as quickly shot them down. The guys were out of question, Midori is going with her niece, Tsunade is out on a mission, Konoka is married…

And everybody can't seem to be able to help him now. But of course, the genius that he is, he thought up ALL possibilities. Perhaps it was because of the heat that day, he wasn't thinking straight. Or maybe he was just too desperate.

He was the one who gave Anko false hope in the first place. Then, even though he knew that he could not find anyone to help, he lied to her. So the least he could do was to make sure that lie becomes a reality.

Taking a deep breath, Orochimaru made one of the toughest decisions in his life. As they say, desperate times call for desperate measures. This is a desperate time. Hence, he will be resorting to a desperate measure.

He decided to enter the contest with Anko.

**~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X**

This was actually meant to be a one-shot but since it'll take me quite some time, I decided to break it down into a few chapters. If everything goes smoothly, this will probably finish in 3 chapters.

Anyways, enough on this. What do you think of the starting of this fic? Any favorite part? Or is there anywhere that needs improvement? Please Review! ^^ 


	2. Chapter 2

HAHA, I'm back in action! ^^  
Hope this chapter would make up for the insanely long break of mine.

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto and any of its characters.**

* * *

Any day that starts off in a lingerie shop isn't likely to turn out well. But all Orochimaru thought of at the time was that a lingerie shop should be more accommodating for guys to enter- especially since there are a lot of guys like Jiraiya who are willing to pay to see their women in less. But with the pink and lacy décor that spanned the entire shop, it was no surprise that guys refuse to be seen dead in this shop.

Pulling the collar of his overly large jacket up, Orochimaru tried to make himself as invisible as possible. But in the low-drawn cap over his hair -which he tied into a ponytail-, the shades he donned, jacket and jeans, he might just have a neon sign hanging over him and there would not be a difference.

_Blend into the surroundings, no sudden movements. Don't draw attention to yourself. _Orochimaru chanted the mantra in his head as he slowly, _casually, _made his way down the aisle as if he had every right to be there. Breaking into the shop at night was against his morals as a guy, especially since this is a lingerie store. So he decide that entering it under the guise of purchasing something would be the best course of action. That, however, did not explain why he took approximately two hours to simply muster the courage to enter the shop, a voice at the back of his head whispered nastily.

That was because he did not want to be noticed, he decided, and stubbornly stuck with that reasoning. Being one of the Sannin can really seemed to draw attention, even when on the streets. What is to say if people finds out that one of the Sannin -more importantly, one of the _male_ Sannin- was in a lingerie shop? It'd attract unwanted gossip, that's for sure. And he soon as swallow poison then to allow that to happen.

So, NO_. _Nobody is going to find out of this...fiasco.

His golden eyes slowly took in the display before him. Lingerie sets on offer over here, skimpy nightgowns on display over there, but nothing that may help him pull off the illusion of having...a woman's chest.

Orochimaru sighed, as his overworked brain scoured for another way to attend the contest incognito and not have to subject himself to such _humiliation_. But It's either this, or going there in a transformation technique. While he may risk being recognized in the former, the latter proved to be more risky, what with Sarutobi, Jiraiya and some other select few ninjas having worked with him before and hence, knows his chakra signature.

And while he may not know if the Hokage will grace this event, he was willing to bet a few years' salary that Jiraiya would definitely turn up.

Because it was Jiraiya. His likes women, likes to watch women, bed women, peep on women. Oh, did Orochimaru also mention that Jiraiya likes women?

God forbid that the perverted man have other interest aside from their female counterparts.

Still, having close to no experience in the women underwear department, Orochimaru had to go with instincts. Picking up a lilac bra, Orochimaru frowned as he considered his options. Which, ever since he agreed to help Anko, seemed to be constantly limited. He could wear multiple layers of bra to pull it off... But then just how does the thing work? Would it look uneven? He couldn't afford to blow this 'mission' up, not with his reputation hanging in the line.

A scene of what would happen if he screwed up flashed across his mind.

_The crowed roared and applauded violently as the last contestant was invited back on stage. They had just gone through the introduction and were ready to proceed on to the first segment of the judging. The audiences -which consisted mostly of men- were already hyped up, and the emcees fueled their excitement by describing the assets of the girls and women on the stage, which pair have the women with legs that goes on forever, which pair have the girl with the most charming smile..._

_All of a sudden, a cry of outrage sounded from one of the judges. "Ohmygosh~! That...that woman's chest isn't balanced!"_

_The judge who had cried out was pointing an incriminating finger. _

_At Orochimaru._

_Murmurs within the crowd broke out instantly. "Orochimaru? THE Orochimaru of the Sannin?"_

_"Whatever IS he thinking?"_

_Girls would giggle, and men would look at him, horror and disgust evident on their faces. "I didn't know that he likes to dress in drag..."_

_"Such a pervert!"_

_Anko would stare at him, tears in her eyes. "Orochimaru-sensei...Ohmygod, I'm so embarrassed to have a teacher like you!"_

_And then Jiraiya would join him on stage. "Well, I see that you've changed your mind on me being a pervert, seeing that you're finally stepping into my kind world. Somewhat anyway." Jiraiya looked him over. "Well, I can show you a good time, not that I'm interested in this sort of stuff, but I do know some people who are seriously into it and-_

Orochimaru smothered the rest of that thought, his hands closing into fists. Oh yeah, this mission is more important than a S-ranked mission, and he'd die sooner than-

A hand landed on his shoulder, and he tensed instantly. Had he let his guard down so much that someone was able to approach _him _without his knowledge? He spun around while simultaneously palming a kunai from the sleeve of his jacket, an instinctive reaction honed from numerous battles and trainings, only to face...

...a salesgirl, her collared pink shirt emblazoned with the shop's logo, a stylish and cursive 'L'. Instantly, he shoved the kunai further up his sleeve. Revealing weapons in shops tend to attract attention, and that was something Orochimaru was working diligently to avoid. His gaze snapped to the stunned expression of the salesgirl, who was surveying him with a weird look.

Looking down at himself, he could understand her predicament. Clad in a cap, shades, baggy jacket and jeans, one hand gripping a lilac bra tightly, he must have been quite the sight. Giving a mental sigh, Orochimaru felt that if he did not end up in restraints at the mental hospital, he'd consider himself lucky.

"Err...are you buying that?" The salesgirl asked, her voice strained.

Shaking his head, he handed the garment over to her, all the while analyzing the situation. Obviously he needed help if he is going to enter the contest and pass for a woman...and this girl just might be of use to him... Seeing as she is not a ninja -not with those frail arms, manicured fingernails and the lack of weapon, from what he can see- she probably wouldn't know what the Sannin, Orochimaru, sounded like.

"But," he said, just as she was about to turn around, "There is something I'd like some help with. I have a...girlfriend, and she have rather low self-esteem, claiming that she have a flat chest. I was wondering if there was anything I could get to help her..."

Orochimaru purposely let his voice trail off, letting the girl draw her own conclusion as to what he needed.

Her face scrunched up in thought. "Maybe if you bring her here, I can see her size and-"

"No." Orochimaru said, interjecting her. "It's to be...a birthday present. Is there no other way?"

"Well she could wear a water bra." The salesgirl said, a professional smile plastered on her face, more at ease now that they were on a topic she was familiar with. She walked up to a display shelf and took down _pink_ box with multiple _cupid hearts_ decorating it. Orochimaru glared at the abdominal thing, wishing that he could incinerate it with his mere sight alone.

_Anko, this is for Anko... Her birthday present... _With that incantation in mind, he deigned a look to the lowly water bra. It was a padding of sorts, it seemed. Paired together with a bra itself, and it would probably give him the imitation of a woman's...bosom. Well, a washboard version of it, he thought sulkily. If it was to be of proportional size with his appearance, he'd need to stuff about a minimum of two water bras.

"...most popular, most sought after brand in the shop. Seriously, many ladies have bought it and they've _never_ came back to complain." The salesgirl was still promoting it, but Orochimaru couldn't be less interested.

"I'll take..." Orochimaru paused to contemplate a little. Never hurts to be careful. "...three of this then."

The salesgirl stared at him for a moment, before saying in a slow deliberate tone, "You know, they are reusable...so you don't have to buy three."

"Well," Orochimaru said as he flashed her his most charming -meaning his normal and standard- smile. "It seems that I've forgotten to mention that I have _three_ girlfriends. Ofcousre, this will be our little secret, just between-" He leaned forward, his lips barely touching her ear, murmuring. "You. And. Me."

As she visibly suppressed a shiver, her cheeks heating up instantly, Orochimaru drew back, a smirk etched on his face.

The salesgirl suddenly noticed how the room temperature have jumped up a notch. And how the male customer in front of her suddenly radiated '_HOT!_'. Sure, she was taken a back by his appearance at first, but now that she looked closer...

His face was pale, with sharp, angular features and framed by the sides of his fringe that was not tucked behind his ear. The shades covered his eyes, but she could see flecks of golden behind them. And those lips, those _oh-so-sinful_ lips were curved a little at the ends, forming a smirk on his face. While the jacket covered most of his upper body -_damn the stupid jacket_-, one look at his jeans-clad legs was enough to hint at the perfection that he is. His legs weren't all that disgusting bulging mass of muscle. His was lean, but still toned and muscled enough to hint the raw power beneath his alluring façade.

This guy is definitely God's A game.

"And their birthdays all happen at the same time?" She asked. Somehow, her breath was coming out a little shallow.

"No, just the one. But it doesn't hurt to buy the others gifts, no?"

"Yes," She nodded her head. Suddenly realizing her mistake, she hastily corrected herself, shaking her head vehemently now. "I, I mean, no. No, it doesn't hurt. Err...I'll put these into their package." grabbing the water bra, she withdrew two others from a drawer and rushed over to the counter, her face the color of lava.

Chuckling to himself, Orochimaru took his time to slowly follow her. And Jiraiya had said he don't know fun, even if it slapped him in the face...

After paying for his purchase, he thanked her, and just for the heck of it, reached up his left hand to lower his shades and winked at her, lips curling into a seductive smile.

Covering her nose, she reached for tissues immediately.

Ah, the simple pleasures of life.

Exiting the shop, he made his way back to his apartment. Slowly, the weight of his situation came back to him, and he couldn't help the sigh that escaped his lips.

X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~

After shower and with one hour to spare, he placed his entire ensemble on his bed. A modest lime green skirt that reached his knees and a plain, pale yellow shirt that he'd gotten the previous day. And the despicable things that he just bought.

Orochimaru looked to the heavens, hoping for some divine intervention of sorts, perhaps a lightning to smite him dead. But no such intervention came, and he was forced to continue with the stupid plans.

A mere five minutes, and he finished dressing. He forced himself to look into the mirror, and almost had a heart attack. He looked...ludicrous.

But wait, he scowled, he still had to get on the _make-up_ first. _Ugh. God-please-kill-me-now..._

Up went the fake eyelashes. His hair was tied into a ponytail again. Grabbing the box that he'd borrowed -that is to say, stole- from Tsunade, he looked at the myriad of colors for eyeshadow and lightly applied several varying shades of blue to accentuate his purple markings. A bit of foundation here and there, the mauve lipstick...and he was done.

Back to the mirror, he could hardly recognize himself. Scrutinizing his feminized image, he smoothed an invisible fold in his shirt. Well. He don't look all that bad if he'd say so himself.

Doing a small turn in front of the mirror, he changed his judgment.

Damn, he looked _stunning_.

Well, that is but ofcourse. He _is_ Orochimaru.

X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~

It was 2pm, and Orochimaru fiddled with the handbag as he waited for Anko, not used to the weight on his shoulder. Or the uncomfortable weight on his chest. Or the leery look that he is getting from more than half the male passerbys.

Really, the lengths he go to for his student...

Then he caught sight of her, her bubbly form skipping as she approached in his direction. Looking up, Anko's eyes locked on with his hazel ones (thank god for contacts).

"You..." She gasped, her eyes widening alarmingly as she pointed at him.

Shit, Orochimaru silently cursed. She knows.

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